Should parents take lessons too?

As a music teacher and the director of Music Makers Academy in Joondalop I’ve had countless conversations with parents navigating the musical journey of their children. One question that occasionally comes up is:

"Should I take music lessons and learn the same instrument as my child?"

On the surface, it sounds like a wonderful idea—shared experiences, bonding over music, and gaining the ability to better support your child’s learning. But like many things in parenting and education, the reality can be more complex than it seems.

Let’s explore both sides of this idea, along with some alternative suggestions.

The Benefits of Learning the Same Instrument

1. A Shared Experience and Bonding Opportunity
Learning the same instrument as your child can foster a unique and special connection. Sitting side by side, playing music together, and showing each other what you're working on builds shared memories and a sense of teamwork.

2. Demonstrating the Value of Music
When your child sees you taking lessons too, it sends a strong message: Music is important. It becomes a visible part of your family culture, rather than just something they do on their own.

3. Developing Empathy and Patience
Learning an instrument is mentally demanding, and it's easy to forget how frustrating the early stages can be. When you take lessons yourself, you’ll gain firsthand experience of how tricky it is to play a piece, read music, or master rhythm. This empathy can lead to much more patience and understanding when your child makes mistakes or progresses slowly.

4. Offering Better Practice Support
By learning to read music, understand rhythm, and grasp the basics of technique and posture, you’re better equipped to guide and support your child at home—especially in those early days when they need reassurance.

5. Modelling Lifelong Learning
Taking lessons as an adult sets a powerful example. You show your child that learning doesn’t stop at school, that it's okay to make mistakes, and that starting from scratch is a part of life—no matter your age.

But There Are Also Downsides…

1. Time and Energy Constraints
Let’s be honest: families are busy. Between school, extracurriculars, work, and general life, finding time for your own practice and lessons can be difficult. Instead of being an enjoyable bonding experience, it might become another chore on your already packed schedule.

2. Risk of Comparison
Comparison is a tricky trap. If your child progresses faster than you, you might feel disheartened. If you advance more quickly, they might feel inadequate. Either way, it can create unnecessary pressure and diminish confidence on both sides.

3. Over-Reliance on the Parent
While it's great to support your child during practice, we also want to foster independent musicians. If you're always present and guiding them, they may not develop the problem-solving skills required to learn and improve on their own.

4. Conflicting Learning Styles
You and your child may learn in very different ways. You might enjoy reading sheet music and playing classical pieces, while your child might prefer to learn by ear or play pop songs. If you impose your own learning style, it can create frustration and resistance.

5. Blurring of Boundaries
When parents become too involved, there's a risk of placing too much pressure on children or unintentionally taking over their musical journey. Kids need the freedom to explore music on their own terms and define what success looks like for them.

So… Should You Do It?

My short answer? Probably not.

But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be involved in your child’s musical life! Here are some better alternatives that still allow you to share in the experience—without the downsides.

3 Great Alternatives to Learning the Same Instrument

1. Learn a Different Instrument
Pick a different instrument from your child and take lessons yourself. You’ll still have the benefits of bonding, empathy, and understanding without direct comparison. Even better—you’ll be able to play duets together, which is an amazing experience for both parent and child.

2. Let Your Child Be the Teacher
Once your child has learned a song, ask them to teach it to you! Not only will this deepen their understanding, but it also builds confidence and reinforces their skills. Plus, it’s a fun role reversal that can spark joy and laughter in your home.

3. Attend the Lessons (Sometimes)
Especially in the early days, attending lessons (without playing yourself) can help you understand how your child is being taught. You’ll see the teacher’s approach and pick up tips that you can use to support practice at home—without the pressure of learning the instrument yourself.

Final Thoughts

Music is an incredible gift to give your child, and your involvement and support are key to their success. But remember that support doesn’t always mean “doing it with them.” Sometimes the best way to help is to give space, encouragement, and the freedom for your child to find their own path.

Whatever you decide, the most important thing is that your child feels supported, inspired, and free to enjoy the journey.

If you’re based in Perth, don’t forget that Music Makers Academy is hosting a Tutor Concert on Sunday, 31st August at Padbury Hall. Come along to hear performances, meet the teachers, and even try out a few instruments for yourself!

Have a question or thought about this topic?

📩 Send us a message on Instagram @musicmakersacademy or reach out via email to book your spot.

Until next time — keep raising musos,
Eliza 🎶